"Kyle was caught writing in Sharpie on school property. This is technically vandalism, but since he's never done anything like this before..."
I felt sick, like I was going to vomit as I listened to the teacher on the other end of the phone.
I can hear you now, as you read this. "What's the big deal? All kids do something stupid like that at some point."
You're right. They do.
Here's what else he has done today alone:
-Gone to school on the coldest day of the year thus far in shorts and a t-shirt (left out year round since we do live in the south). He told me his jacket was in his bag. (Stupid Mom. Should've checked.) He told his teacher he wasn't wearing one because he doesn't have one.
-Decided he wanted the pizza (he can't eat) at school instead of what was in his lunchbox. Pitched a giant fit and proceeded to tell the school nurse, lunch lady, custodian, and anyone else in ear shot that his food was rotten. It was not. It was last night's leftovers.
-Blamed his missing homework on his baby brother eating it. I think it goes without saying that this was not true.
-Drew on his little brother with markers when he got home.
-Was told to take a bath. Painted the shower walls with shampoo instead.
-Was told to clean under his bed. Took four hours and Mommy finally went in and bagged everything up rather than continue to fight with him.
So, what's the big deal? The big deal is that he has a behavioral disorder, and because there are people out there who think a six year old can't have a behavioral disorder, I have to fight tooth and nail for him to get help. The big deal is that people who don't realize how hard this make it even harder by trying to excuse his behavior as a boy being a boy, a kid being a kid, or however they want to put it.
The big deal is that I'm exhausted. This was just today. Today alone. Let's not get into the last week, the last month, or God forbid the last year.
The big deal is that HE is exhausted. Do you know how hard it is for him to try and behave, and how much it takes out of him? I do. I've listened to him breakdown and call himself every name he can think of because he. Can't. Stop. Himself.
Life with a child who has a behavioral/neurological disorder (or more than one, as Kyle does) is hard, on the child and the whole family. His siblings pick up bad habits from him. He's the kid no one wants to play with. His self-esteem and confidence take blow after blow as he is teased, made fun of, or just plain avoided for his uncontrollable behavior. His mother visibly cringes each time the school's name flashes across the caller ID.
Everyone wants stories of overcoming the odds. They want to hear about kids succeeding despite their problems. No one wants to talk about the hell that is living with these disorders on a daily basis, outside of those golden moments when they beat the odds.
The fact of the matter is, these kids and their families need you to support us during THESE times, during the exhaustion and the chaos, not just when everything is all rainbows and unicorns. We need you to pick us up now, when our kids are struggling and we are at our wit's end, so that we CAN have those moments in the sun.
So go find that mother who looks like she's one more phone call away from a mental breakdown and give her a hug. Go find that father who looks defeated and bring him a cup of coffee and listen to him talk. And encourage your kids to play with mine. He's a good boy, really. They all are.
I felt sick, like I was going to vomit as I listened to the teacher on the other end of the phone.
I can hear you now, as you read this. "What's the big deal? All kids do something stupid like that at some point."
You're right. They do.
Here's what else he has done today alone:
-Gone to school on the coldest day of the year thus far in shorts and a t-shirt (left out year round since we do live in the south). He told me his jacket was in his bag. (Stupid Mom. Should've checked.) He told his teacher he wasn't wearing one because he doesn't have one.
-Decided he wanted the pizza (he can't eat) at school instead of what was in his lunchbox. Pitched a giant fit and proceeded to tell the school nurse, lunch lady, custodian, and anyone else in ear shot that his food was rotten. It was not. It was last night's leftovers.
-Blamed his missing homework on his baby brother eating it. I think it goes without saying that this was not true.
-Drew on his little brother with markers when he got home.
-Was told to take a bath. Painted the shower walls with shampoo instead.
-Was told to clean under his bed. Took four hours and Mommy finally went in and bagged everything up rather than continue to fight with him.
So, what's the big deal? The big deal is that he has a behavioral disorder, and because there are people out there who think a six year old can't have a behavioral disorder, I have to fight tooth and nail for him to get help. The big deal is that people who don't realize how hard this make it even harder by trying to excuse his behavior as a boy being a boy, a kid being a kid, or however they want to put it.
The big deal is that I'm exhausted. This was just today. Today alone. Let's not get into the last week, the last month, or God forbid the last year.
The big deal is that HE is exhausted. Do you know how hard it is for him to try and behave, and how much it takes out of him? I do. I've listened to him breakdown and call himself every name he can think of because he. Can't. Stop. Himself.
Life with a child who has a behavioral/neurological disorder (or more than one, as Kyle does) is hard, on the child and the whole family. His siblings pick up bad habits from him. He's the kid no one wants to play with. His self-esteem and confidence take blow after blow as he is teased, made fun of, or just plain avoided for his uncontrollable behavior. His mother visibly cringes each time the school's name flashes across the caller ID.
Everyone wants stories of overcoming the odds. They want to hear about kids succeeding despite their problems. No one wants to talk about the hell that is living with these disorders on a daily basis, outside of those golden moments when they beat the odds.
The fact of the matter is, these kids and their families need you to support us during THESE times, during the exhaustion and the chaos, not just when everything is all rainbows and unicorns. We need you to pick us up now, when our kids are struggling and we are at our wit's end, so that we CAN have those moments in the sun.
So go find that mother who looks like she's one more phone call away from a mental breakdown and give her a hug. Go find that father who looks defeated and bring him a cup of coffee and listen to him talk. And encourage your kids to play with mine. He's a good boy, really. They all are.
