Several months ago, I wrote this post about the reality of ADHD/ODD in kids like Kyle.
Today, for my edification and yours, I want to talk to about the reality of childhood bipolar disorder...in children like my four year old son, Taryn.
Yes, I said four year old.
The reality is, bipolar and other mood disorders do exist in young children. As with ADHD and ODD, it's the severity and occurrence of the behavioral issues that win these kids their diagnosis and set them apart from more typical children of similar ages. And, just like ADHD and ODD, the diagnosis is difficult to get.
No one wants to label the adorable curly-haired tot in front of them as mentally/emotionally disturbed or unbalanced. No one wants to look at his exhausted, teary-eyed mother and tell her "I am so sorry - this will never end. Your toddler displays all the signs and symptoms of a life-long mental illness called bipolar disorder. He will not outgrow it."
But, to any pediatricians and pediatric psychologists out there, please, don't take his adorable face and my tears to mean I can't handle what you feel is wrong with him. Please, don't fear placing a label on him. You're not labeling him. You're opening a door for me to help him. I came to you for answers, because nothing I did was helping him. I'm his mother; I'm supposed to be able to help him. That's my job. Your job is to tell me what's going on with him. I can't do my job if you're reluctant to do yours.
Source
Now that we have that out of the way, let's get back to talking the reality of this disorder. Let's talk about the dark parts of it, not because we want to drown in the despair, but because acknowledging the truth of the matter is the only way to begin helping these kids and families. To help my kid, and my family.
As I did in the ADHD/ODD post, I'm going to answer the most common questions we hear about Early Childhood Onset Bipolar Disorder. There will be links, of course, to reputable sources for you to learn more, should you choose to. And I so hope you choose to.
What is Early Childhood Onset Bipolar Disorder?
In a nutshell, ECOBD (acronyms are your friend!) is bipolar disorder that presents in very young children. From what I understand, these children are usually early elementary aged or younger when they begin exhibiting signs and are hopefully diagnosed. In the DSM 5, this disorder is now called disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, but it is one and the same. Many pediatric psychologists may even call it bipolar disorder to help parents put a more familiar name to it, as Taryn's did.
What Are the Symptoms of Early Childhood Onset Bipolar Disorder?
Not every child will have all the same symptoms, but there are a few main ones to look out for, and they do differ from what you'd expect to see in adult bipolar sufferers. Signs that your child may have this disorder include
Today, for my edification and yours, I want to talk to about the reality of childhood bipolar disorder...in children like my four year old son, Taryn.
Yes, I said four year old.
The reality is, bipolar and other mood disorders do exist in young children. As with ADHD and ODD, it's the severity and occurrence of the behavioral issues that win these kids their diagnosis and set them apart from more typical children of similar ages. And, just like ADHD and ODD, the diagnosis is difficult to get.
No one wants to label the adorable curly-haired tot in front of them as mentally/emotionally disturbed or unbalanced. No one wants to look at his exhausted, teary-eyed mother and tell her "I am so sorry - this will never end. Your toddler displays all the signs and symptoms of a life-long mental illness called bipolar disorder. He will not outgrow it."
But, to any pediatricians and pediatric psychologists out there, please, don't take his adorable face and my tears to mean I can't handle what you feel is wrong with him. Please, don't fear placing a label on him. You're not labeling him. You're opening a door for me to help him. I came to you for answers, because nothing I did was helping him. I'm his mother; I'm supposed to be able to help him. That's my job. Your job is to tell me what's going on with him. I can't do my job if you're reluctant to do yours.
Source
Now that we have that out of the way, let's get back to talking the reality of this disorder. Let's talk about the dark parts of it, not because we want to drown in the despair, but because acknowledging the truth of the matter is the only way to begin helping these kids and families. To help my kid, and my family.
As I did in the ADHD/ODD post, I'm going to answer the most common questions we hear about Early Childhood Onset Bipolar Disorder. There will be links, of course, to reputable sources for you to learn more, should you choose to. And I so hope you choose to.
What is Early Childhood Onset Bipolar Disorder?
In a nutshell, ECOBD (acronyms are your friend!) is bipolar disorder that presents in very young children. From what I understand, these children are usually early elementary aged or younger when they begin exhibiting signs and are hopefully diagnosed. In the DSM 5, this disorder is now called disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, but it is one and the same. Many pediatric psychologists may even call it bipolar disorder to help parents put a more familiar name to it, as Taryn's did.
What Are the Symptoms of Early Childhood Onset Bipolar Disorder?
Not every child will have all the same symptoms, but there are a few main ones to look out for, and they do differ from what you'd expect to see in adult bipolar sufferers. Signs that your child may have this disorder include
- Extreme temper tantrums that often result in violence or aggression towards others/things
- These outbursts occur three or more times per week and are not consistent with outbursts expected in children of that age
- Extreme sadness or lack of interest in play
- Defiance of authority
- Hyperactivity, agitation, irritability
- Inappropriate sleep habits
- Wetting the bed, night terrors
- Strong, frequent cravings, most likely for carbs and sugar
- Separation anxiety
- Impaired judgment, impulsivity, racing thoughts, and pressure to keep talking
- Dare-devil behavior
- Inappropriate sexual behavior. Maybe your little guy likes to pull out his private parts and play with them, even though he knows better. Maybe he's a little TOO interested in what makes boys and girls different.
These are just a few of the symptoms, and are actually the symptoms my own child exhibited and continues to exhibit now, post-diagnosis.
Those symptoms sound an awful lot like other childhood disorders, such as ADHD and ODD. How do you know it's not that?
Good question. Many children with bipolar disorder are often misdiagnosed as having ADHD, ODD, or other behavioral disorders. Taryn was originally suspected to have ADHD. He still might - the disorders are often co-morbid. So how do you tell the difference?
The easiest answer to that lies in the mania experienced by bipolar sufferers. The hyperactivity and impulsivity in ADHD sufferers is present at all times. For someone with just bipolar disorder, it's only present during manic episodes. A person with both suffers from increased hyperactivity and impulsiveness during these manic episodes. It can be very hard to tell the difference, so be sure to document and bring it up to your healthcare provider.
What Can I Do If My Child Has Bipolar Disorder?
From one bipolar child's mother to another, the most important thing you can do for them is love them. Love them so much, it hurts. Love them through the hard times, and the good times. Hold them when they're falling apart. Don't hate them for their rages; they don't mean it, and they're probably just as scared as you are, if not more so.
As far as medically helping them, there aren't a whole lot of options for the younger bipolar sufferers. Part of that is because pediatric bipolar disorders are a relatively new area of interest. Many insurances don't even accept the diagnosis, or if they do, make it difficult to get treatment. You may have to fight for your child, to get him or her the help they need. I am very fortunate in that my children's doctor does not believe in minimizing what the parents see or feel in their children and was willing to refer him out to a neurologist and a psychologist to get us some answers, and that she was willing to fight the insurance company with me to get him the help he needed once he was formally diagnosed.
Speaking of which, treatment for pediatric bipolar disorders is very similar to what an adult would be given. Play therapy is an excellent tool for any child suffering a psychiatric problem. Good communication with schools and possibly developing a 504 for behavior will help your child in the classroom. And yes, medication will at some point become necessary.
Living with a child who has a mental illness, which is what bipolar disorder is, can be difficult. It's overwhelming, exhausting, and frustrating. I can't imagine how my son feels on a daily basis. I can't imagine what it's like to be him. I can't imagine it, because I'm not bipolar. What I can do, is love him. Love him even when I'm so tired from trying to help him that I feel numb. Love him so hard, that he'll never feel unworthy.
What I can do, is teach you about him and other children with bipolar disorder. Because he is not alone, and neither are they. No matter how alone they feel in the midst of their rage, their mania, their depression - they are not alone.
To my precious boy, who will likely one day stumble across this blog and read this post, if you remember this day - the sound of your mother sobbing at the kitchen table while you rage in your room, the feel of your mother's arms holding you tight as you both cry together when you've worn yourself out, the smell of the hot chocolate she made you when you were finally finished crying - if you remember this day, or any of the others so much like it, while you read this post, know that I will always love you. I will always fight for you. And I will always be so proud of you for fighting your own mind, for continuing to be you, and for just continuing. I love you.
