September 3, 2013.
The day Kelli Stapleton made a decision that she can never take back.
The day she, an advocate and blogger for autism and related issues, decided that she and her autistic daughter Issy would be better of "going to heaven."
I don't go off about these hot button issues often. I try to keep what I write about MY sons, and OUR life, not the choices someone else made, because I am not Kelli, and I do not know what drove her here, to the point she reached. I imagine she was scared, and desperate, and, much like those who are suicidal, felt she had no other choice. And I know she says she regrets what she did, and that she does not feel worthy to beg her daughter's forgiveness.
This post is not about her. Well, it is, but it isn't.
This post is about the condoning of what she tried to do. Let's put her aside, let's put her interviews aside, and let's focus on the bare facts: a mother tried to kill herself and her child.
And there are those who are condoning what she tried to do.
There are those who say it is okay, because Issy is disabled and that makes life hard.
No one is going to argue that it does, indeed, make life hard. No one is going to argue that fact.
But I'm going to argue this: if Issy Stapleton had NOT been disabled, would these people still condone what Kelli did? Would it still be okay?
And the answer to that is NO. The world would be disgusted, outraged, infuriated. There would be no forgiveness for Kelli, no "We understand" for Kelli. There would be mobs calling for justice, for her blood.
But because Issy is autistic, because Issy was aggressive, it's okay? It's okay to deprive her of the basic right to live?
Because Issy has rights, folks. Issy had a right to expect her mother to keep her safe, not hurt her. She had a right to expect that she could safely get in a vehicle with her mother and NOT wake up three days later in the hospital. She had a right to expect that she could fall asleep and wake up perfectly fine, as she has every other day of her life.
Most importantly, Issy has a right to LIVE.
Anyone who says otherwise...I pray you never have a disabled child, because I fear for that child's life if you do.
You who condone what Kelli did, you who decided that Issy does not deserve to live...
Would you condemn my sons, then, to death? Because neither of my sons are exactly "normal." This blog started for K. On Friday, Byrd was diagnosed with autism. Do they not deserve to live? Does Byrd deserve to live, because his only problems are ASD and SPD? Does K deserve to die because his problems run deeper, and are much more complex, and because is not as high functioning as his little brother? Do my sons deserve to die because they are not "normal?" Would you sign their death warrants?
Because by condoning what Kelli did, by saying it was okay because of the disability her daughter lives with, you're saying that MY children, who have the SAME disability, do not deserve to live.
And I am not okay with that.
Just like neurotypical children, Issy, my sons, the other children and adults living with disabilities, DESERVE TO LIVE. They have the RIGHT to live.
And NO ONE, be it a parent or a caregiver or a stranger, has the right to take that life from them.
The day Kelli Stapleton made a decision that she can never take back.
The day she, an advocate and blogger for autism and related issues, decided that she and her autistic daughter Issy would be better of "going to heaven."
I don't go off about these hot button issues often. I try to keep what I write about MY sons, and OUR life, not the choices someone else made, because I am not Kelli, and I do not know what drove her here, to the point she reached. I imagine she was scared, and desperate, and, much like those who are suicidal, felt she had no other choice. And I know she says she regrets what she did, and that she does not feel worthy to beg her daughter's forgiveness.
This post is not about her. Well, it is, but it isn't.
This post is about the condoning of what she tried to do. Let's put her aside, let's put her interviews aside, and let's focus on the bare facts: a mother tried to kill herself and her child.
And there are those who are condoning what she tried to do.
There are those who say it is okay, because Issy is disabled and that makes life hard.
No one is going to argue that it does, indeed, make life hard. No one is going to argue that fact.
But I'm going to argue this: if Issy Stapleton had NOT been disabled, would these people still condone what Kelli did? Would it still be okay?
And the answer to that is NO. The world would be disgusted, outraged, infuriated. There would be no forgiveness for Kelli, no "We understand" for Kelli. There would be mobs calling for justice, for her blood.
But because Issy is autistic, because Issy was aggressive, it's okay? It's okay to deprive her of the basic right to live?
Because Issy has rights, folks. Issy had a right to expect her mother to keep her safe, not hurt her. She had a right to expect that she could safely get in a vehicle with her mother and NOT wake up three days later in the hospital. She had a right to expect that she could fall asleep and wake up perfectly fine, as she has every other day of her life.
Most importantly, Issy has a right to LIVE.
Anyone who says otherwise...I pray you never have a disabled child, because I fear for that child's life if you do.
You who condone what Kelli did, you who decided that Issy does not deserve to live...
Would you condemn my sons, then, to death? Because neither of my sons are exactly "normal." This blog started for K. On Friday, Byrd was diagnosed with autism. Do they not deserve to live? Does Byrd deserve to live, because his only problems are ASD and SPD? Does K deserve to die because his problems run deeper, and are much more complex, and because is not as high functioning as his little brother? Do my sons deserve to die because they are not "normal?" Would you sign their death warrants?
Because by condoning what Kelli did, by saying it was okay because of the disability her daughter lives with, you're saying that MY children, who have the SAME disability, do not deserve to live.
And I am not okay with that.
Just like neurotypical children, Issy, my sons, the other children and adults living with disabilities, DESERVE TO LIVE. They have the RIGHT to live.
And NO ONE, be it a parent or a caregiver or a stranger, has the right to take that life from them.
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